She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
