I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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