I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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