Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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