just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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