If i come over, it means nothing
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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