just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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