The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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