I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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