Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
