Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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