She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize