I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
