Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I need moral support for this bender
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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