went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
