margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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