Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
