One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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