Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
