She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
