Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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