5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
