maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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