Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
