i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
