Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
