Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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