People in love make me want to vomit
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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