lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
