I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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