yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
