Will you blow on my dice?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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