She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
