she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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