im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Houston, we have a squirter
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If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
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I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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