Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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