Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
