why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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