I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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