Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize