Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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