mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
