had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
