I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
