I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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