I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
two words...techno handjob
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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