we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
