dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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