I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
