I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
