I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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