Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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