someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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