So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
