yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
