Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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