Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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