No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
