Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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