I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
