Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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