youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
